Politics, Respect and Disagreement

I was listening to talk radio just a few minutes ago and I really started to get irritated. It was mentioned by the talk show host that John McCain had come out immediately after Hillary Clinton withdrew from the race and said that he had great respect for Ms. Clinton and perhaps even has a freindship with her. Both canidates have been very respectful to each other and have complimented each other quite often. (For more information on thier freindship and respect see
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/06/mccain-clinton.html). This particular talk show host, though, was calling this a negative. He claimed that McCain was merely trying to court the Hillary Clinton supporters and it would end up turning off most of the true conservatives. My question is When did it become wrong to respect and even be freinds with someone who disagrees with you?

I have always prided myself in the diversity of my friends. I have friends who are gay, straight, liberal, conservative, middle of the road, don't know what they believe, right wing nuts, left wing nuts, open minded, closed minded, to the right of Attilla the Hun, virtual socialists, Jewish, Islamic, Christian, red necks, cowboys, city slickers, fundamentalists, literalists, and just about any other title you might think to give someone. I enjoy talking a debating our various areas of disagreement with each of them, because they are respectful toward me and I respect them as well. Do I think I am right? Absolutely, or I would have changed my mind, but that does not mean I have to be mean spiritted and arrogant about what I believe.

You know, it seems to me that Jesus hung out with a divergent crowd as well. One of his disciples was a zealot, another a tax collector, he had some fishermen and at least one disciple that was known by the high priest. Then there is the people he talked to and created a relationship with, there were Pharisees, prostitutes, tax collectors, women of questionable reputation, crippled people, sick people and the unclean in society. If Jesus could be friends with such diversity, then maybe we could be freinds with those that disagree with us as well.

I gained a new respect for Senator Ted Kennedy when I heard one fellow congress person make the comment that he could argue a point vehemently with you on the senate floor, he could be passionate in his disagreement with you, but when the senate dismissed he would pat you on the back and greet you as an old friend. That is the way it shold be.

Perhaps if the church could be better at respecting and loving those we disagree with, then the world just might take our example. There is nothing wrong with disagreement. We each disagree with each other in one way or another. What is wrong is hate speech and failing to love one another. Christ preached against these things. We as Christians should stand up and demand more respect and civility in our politics and in our culture. I pray that we will.

Moving Day

I alway become somewhat reflective during this week of the year. For us as United Methodist pastors it is moving week. By Thursday at noon for all the churches changing pastors, the former pastor is to be out of the parsonage and the new pastor moving in. I am not moving this year, but I have several freinds that are. Moving Day as I remember it is hectic, exciting, nerve wracking, patience trying, happy, sad, angry and about every other emotion that can be described. Moving day is a time of endings and new beginnings a time of mourning and a time of excitement. It is an awe-filled, awefull day of mixed emotions and rushing. It is a wonderful day as well.

I know there are some pastors who are looking forward to moving day. Perhaps he or she realized that they had taken their soon to be former church as far as he or she could. He or she knew it was time to move and thier District Superintendent had been attentive and listened to what they wanted and the move is to a place they wanted to be. For those of you whose move occurred under great cicumstances, my prayers is that the move will be everything you hope and dream. I pray that your church or churches are even more wonderful than you thought they would be. I pray that this new beginning will be a growing oppurtunity for your church or churches and for you. I pray that the Lord will richly bless your ministry and show you how to enable your church or churches to make disciples for Jesus Christ. God bless you.

I also know there are others moving in a less than idealistic manner. Perhaps you really did not want to move. You have freinds or family that you do not want to move away from. Perhaps, your appointment was not quite in the geographical location you were hoping for. Perhaps you feel like your District Superintendent did not listen to you or God in making this appointment. Perhaps you feel as if the system has messed you around once again and are getting rather tired of it. Perhaps you are burned out, but do not know what to do. For these pastors I say a special prayer. I have been there before. It is not fun. However, we must never forget that God works in our system sometimes despite the circumstances, but God is always working.

I would encourage those of you in the latter category to first and foremost remember, it was not your church that messed you around. The system may or may not of messed you around, but the church you are moving to, certainly did not. It is not their fault you asked to be in the OKC or Tulsa area and are actually six hours away from civilization. They do not need to have your anger taken out on them. The new congregation needs you to love them unconditionally. They need to feel the love of Christ from thier pastor, not be beaten up again as some congregations have been. I do say special prayers for you. I pray that you will find the healing you need. I pray that you will rediscover the love of God and I pray that God will lead you to be the strong leader that this new church deserves.

My prayer for all of you moving is that this will be a new beginning for both you and the church or churches you will be pastoring. My prayer is for travel mercies and for guidance from God. My prayer is that the love of Christ will be shown to you and you will show the love of Christ as well. I pray your new community will become home very quickly and that you will be the pasoral leader that your new church has prayed for. All of you moving, please remember, that I am praying for you and your Church or churches. God bless you and keep you. Amen.

Good Job, Not!

I recently attended my daughters grade school track meet. It was most interesting to sit back and watch the children. However, something happened there that disturbed me. I observed the children running and like with most track meets, it was very obvious that some of the children wanted to be there and others did not. My own daughter, got first in the obstacle course, second in the frisbee throw, third in 100, fourth in the sack race and fifth in the long jump (there was only five, she does not like the long jump and did not want to do it.). The children that did not want to be there really did not try. Some did things like run with thier hats on and spend more time making sure it stayed on, others simply did not try and one or two virtually walked thier races. Most of the time there were parents and teachers that waited at the finish line and each child heard good job, when they finished. I have a problem with this.

I know that some experts tell us to tell our children good job so that they will have a healthy self-esteem. I think that telling a child good job, when obviously they did not do a good job is equally if not more damaging. It was painfully obvious that many of these children did not do a good job and did not even do thier best. They were more interested in joking around or simply getting out of school, than actually trying. To tell these children good job teaches them two main things. The first is that they do not have to try to get a reward, so why try. The second is that the parent or teachers have very low expectations of them, so again why try.

Human beings as a whole are lazy. We will do the least amount of work possible to get the result desired. Hence, these children learn that thier reward will come whether or not they work hard. The world as a whole does not function this way. Hence, when they get older and are out in the real world, who is going to tell them good job, when they really stink at what they are doing. More specifically it is not when they are doing something they do not have the ability to do, it is when they are doing something they have the ability for, yet do not do it to the best of their ability. Telling a child good job when they really did not try simply shows they will get a reward no matter what. This is not preparing them for the real world and gives them no sense of accomplishment. Therefore, this practice actually damages self-esteem.

The secon teaching is even more damaging. The real message seems to me, that my expectations are so low of you that I am going to tell you good job even when you did not do a good job, because you did what I expected. It tells the child that you do not expect any more out of them. Again the message is why try. The message is I can't do it, so why try.

One other thing such insincere statements do is break down the trust of a child in his or her teacher or parent. They usually know when they did not do a good job and when they did. When we tell them good job, they will stop believing and may even wonder what else we say that is not true or sincere.

I realize the current trend in our society and culture is to promote self-esteem. However, let's be real. Are we promoting false self-esteem at the price of preparing our children for the real world? Are we rewarding mediocrity or less in the name of self-esteem? It seems to me we are.

For those of you that are curious. I told my daughter she did a good job on all of her events except the Long Jump. On that one we talked about why she did not even try. She said she did not want to do it and the teacher made her. I said okay and we went on. She knew she did not do a good job anyway. Why would I lie to her and tell her she did.

Evangelism is Simple

At one of my churches we have a Wednesday evening program. It is a meal with an adult Bible Study and a Children's Ministry. We have had a wonderful lady coming to this when she was able. She had attended Sunday morning twice, which most people had remembered, because she brought her five children with her. Her family is a blended family. She told me she wanted to talk to me about a decision she had made. I said sure. After the program was over and we were leaving she told me that she wanted to join the church. Then she told me why.

That very afternoon, she had called a wonderful lay woman of my congregation to open the church for her, because she was fixing the meal for the wednesday evening group. The other lady came and opened the door and they visited for a while. Then the member of my church said to her, "What would it take to get you to church on Sunday Morning?" The non member was flabbergasted to say the least. She said that all she needed was a wake up call. Of course the other woman was more than willing to do this. Then the member of the church said, "You have a lot you could add to our church and I want you to be here." She said at that moment, she knew that this church is where she belonged. It had been sixteen years since she joined any church. In fact, it had been long enough, that she was not even sure where her membership was. I thought what an awesome concrete example of evangelism.

In her simple question, "What would it take to get you to church on Sunday morning?" there were many profound truths given. One, is we want you here at this church. We want you to come on Sunday morning. Do you know how many people do not feel wanted or needed anywhere. I believe if our churches could simply communicate the fact that "you are wanted" then we the kingdom of God would be growing here on earth. another profound truth is that you are accepted as you are. The church woman did not ask this visitor to change. She actually said come as you are, We love you and want you to be here.

The next thing my wonderful lady did was let the other woman know that she had much to add here. We want to find a place for you. In the small church especially, it is like a family. When joining a family it is often difficult to find your place or your roll. Here she extended the welcom and said we have a place for you! What a wonderful Christ-like response.

It seems to me that many times we make evangelism too complicated. We think we need this or that program or if we would just study that book or read this author than we can do evangelism. However, I believe that most of evangelism is about having a relationship with another person and then being willing to say come and join our family of faith. We accept you. We love you and we have a place for you. Many people spend a lifetime looking for a place to belong. The church should be such a place.

I am not against evangelism studies or programs, but when it comes down to it evangelism is accomplished through relationships. Living a life in relationship to Christ and to others. Inviting and asking what can I do to help. Giving people unconditional love and showing them how to love others in the same way.

You see, Evangelism really is simple, yet profound.

What I Learned from the New Kid

We have a new addition to our household. We have a new kid. No, not a baby and to be honest he really isn't in the household. The new kid is actually in the back yard. As most of you know we have show goats and we have a one week old kid that we are bottle feeding. Peanut, as we call him, was two days old when he came to live with us. He has a twin brother as well. Our neighbor raises goats and peanut is actually his goat. You see he and his brother were born just minutes apart, but for some odd reason Peanut's mother, who my children call petunia, rejected him. She will feed his brother just fine, but walks away when peanut tries to nurse. For the first two days Peanut's owner held the mother down and made her let him nurse. She was not happy about this. I am not a goat expert, however, I have learned a thing or two about goats in the last year we have been raising them. Even people who have raised goats for more years than I have been alive, though, do not know why goats sometimes do this. The wierd part is that on occasion goats will adopt another goat's kid, but on other ocasions they will reject thier own. Weird!!!

I was commenting on how strange this was, but it was just another difference between the animal kingdom and human beings. My son asked me what I meant by this and without thinking I said that human beings do not reject thier babies. My 11 year old son said, yes they do!! He has been reading "A Child Called It" which is about one of the worst cases of child abuse ever reported. It is written by the survivor of said child abuse. Anyway, I had to admit that I was wrong sometimes children are rejected by thier parents. Sometimes this is overt, in child abuse, abandonment and other such things. Sometimes the state has to come in and take the child away to keep them safe. However, sometimes human beings covertly abandon thier children, but simply withholding the love that they need. In this case the state does not step in and take the child away, but the child is still in need of surrogate parents.

We are serving as a surrogate parent to the little kid. He needs milk, not too much and not too little and as a goat he also needs socialization. Sometimes we are called to be surrogate parents to children whose parents are not or cannot meet thier emotional and spiritual needs. As Christians we need to be open to these oppurtunities when they come around. Perhaps there is a child in your community who would come to church, but his parents do not want to take him or her. Perhaps if they were given a ride, then they would find a place of full acceptance and love. we all need to be loved unconditionally.

Being a surrogate parent or as I prefer a spiritual parent to another child is risky. You can come to care for them very much. They may not know how to respond to unconditional love. They may reject you, they may reject God. They might get hurt along the way and you might feel the hurt they feel at home. That's okay it is well worth the risk.

Perhaps we should all look for the children around us who need to know unconditional love. Perhaps we should also look for the adults that need this as well. Either way unconditional love and acceptance is a gift from God. We as Christians need to share God's gift with others, especially the abandoned children.

Are You Thirsty?

I have been reading Thirst: God and the Alcoholic Expereince by James B. Nelson. I have not finished the book yet, but something he said in the first few chapters really got me to thinking. First of all he talks of addiction as a spiritual disease, as well as physical and emotional. Nelson writes that most people seem to have no problem referring to recovery as a spiritual experience, but leaves the spiritual stuff out of the disease of addiction.
To further explain this, Nelson writes of thirst. He defines thirst as any craving or strong desire. Nelson also speaks of all of humanity having a thirst for God. We do not all recognize this thirst, but it is there. The problem is we try to quench this thirst with other things. For the addict, their substance of choice becomes thier god and they are continually trying to quench thier thirst with it. Physical issues, emotional issues and environment affect this choice, but the choice is made. Therefore, the spiritual issue for addiction is to turn this thirst to the only thing that can cure it which is God or a higher power as the twelves steps put it.
I want to be very clear, I do not believe that Nelson is saying and I am certainly not saying, that all the addict needs is Jesus. However, I am saying that part of the treatment for this disease is spiritual in nature.
However, I began to reflect on Nelson's use of the word thirst. What is it that I thirst for? I believe we all have this thirst for God and we all try to replace it with other things. Even as a Christian and having been a Christian for many years, I often let other things get in the way of relieving my thirst for God. Sometimes I act as if other things, church work, family, games, etc. will fullfill the true thirst in my spirit. It is those times, that I feel that my spirit is dry and I am in a desert. God is always waiting to quench that thirst, though.
Do we really live as if we thirst for God? Do we act as though we really even desire God at all? Many of us live like the alcoholic, the addict, the sex addict, the gambling addict or whatever it may be. We live trying to replace God with something else. However, we are designed to live in relationship with God and there is not substitute that will satisfy the thirst. May we endeavor to quench our thirst with the cooling spirit of God. May we also not wait till we are so dry, but continually partake of the living waters. Amen

Flying the Friendly Skies?

I just recently returned from a trip to Austin. It was a simple over night trip in which I flew there on one day and back on another. I flew with one of the many airlines that do not assign seats anymore. I had a brief stop in Dallas, and was attempting to board my next plain. My letter was B and I was number 60. If you have flown one of these airlines, then you know that they board by A 1-30, then A 31-60, then B 1-30, B 1-60 and then C. Well as you can tell I was the last of the B's. In addition there must not have been very many C's because I was the fourth to the last person to board the plane. It was a pretty full flight and everybody had set on the window seats and the asle seats leaving the middle seat open. I aproached entered the plane and began walking down the aisle to see if any seats were open. Immediately, I began getting dirty looks from most of the people already in thier seats. The ones that were not giving me dirty looks simply were not looking at me. I began to realize that nobody really wanted me to sit between them, because I would make them uncomfortable.Being the Babybuster (or Generation X, I prefer the term Baby Buster) that I am when I did not feel welcome, I really wanted to just leave and get another plane. Of course this was not possible, so I found a seat and sat down with the two freindliest people I could see.
However, this event did make me reflect on the church and how we make people feel welcome or don't. Whenever there is a new person that shows up to church, do we stare at them or simply refuse to see them? If we do it is probably because a new person makes us uncomfortable. They are different than us. Perhaps their skin color is different, of the clothes they wear, or thier socio-economic class, deep down in our hearts we don't want to welcome them, because they might make us feel uncomfortable. Even if they look similar to us, they might have different ideas, or want different music or maybe even make the biggest mistake of all and sit in my pew. It is way easier to simply ignore them or give them dirty looks or make them not feel welcome, then we do not have to be uncomfortable.
It seems to me that Jesus was not afraid to let the stranger into his fold. He hung out with tax collectors and Zealots. He actually seemed more comfortable with some of the people that we would not welcome into our church! Perhaps we need to remember the "Freindly skies" when we have new people show up for church. We should welcome them with open arms, even if they make us feel uncomfortable.