Tuesday, September 18, 2007

What's Important

In 1990 I discovered a series of books that were wonderful fantasy novels. They were the Wheel of time series written by Robert Jordan. There are currently eleven books in the series and the twelfth is promised to be the last. It is an awsome series. Robert Jordan is the authors name and I do not know for sure, but he must be very excited about ending the series and the seeing the culmination of his writing. However, yesterday he died of a rare blood disorder. I did not know him personally, nor would I dare to say I know what he was like in the least bit. However, his premature death before finishing the twelfth book has gotten me to thinking.

There are many things in life that I dream of having. Sometimes I put those dreams off because of life cirumstances or just because I can do it later. I often forget that I am not garunteed a later. Some of the things I put off are very important. Like playing with my children, enjoying life, spending time with my wife and things like that. Other things are trips I would like to take, education I would like to have and so forth. I do not know if Mr. Jordan procrastinated about his final book. It does seem to me that the series could have been much shorter and his work could have been done before he died. I do not want to die not having accomplished my dreams and not having played with my children enough.

If you read my last Blog, then you know that I have a thirty-six year old friend that is dying. Her husband talked about all the places that they had wanted to go and see, but now never would. I do not want to be that way. Now, I am not going to rush off and get into debt so that I can go whereever I want to, but I will go play with my children and take a date with my wife.

God does not garuntee that all of our dreams will be accomplished. However, I do believe that God wants us to try and accomplish them. I am not planning on dying young, but who knows what will happen. One thing I do want, though, is to not have any regrets when I die. I do not want to say that I put things off too long and now will not be able to do them.

Mr. Jordan, I hope that someone will finish your series for you. As for me, I am going to get off the computer and go play with my children. Then I might work out for a while, because one of my dreams is to thin again one day. After I work out, I am going to have a family meal and talk to my whole family. Life is too short not to enjoy it and that is what I plan to do.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My friend Danette

I have a friend named Danette. She is in the process of dieing due to cancer. She is thirty-six years old (maybe thirty-seven). Her awesome husband called us last week and told us that she is in the process of making her final journey to heaven. I am sad. Actually this is a vast understatement, but I do not have the words. I know that she is going on to heaven and I want to celebrate her life, but I am not ready to say goodbye or even see you later yet.

Danette is a wonderful lady. She is a great mom, a Christian woman, an awesome wife, and an excellent friend. I remember the first time I met Danette. It was in the basement of the Chapel at Oklahoma City University. We were waiting for class to start, I believe the class was Introduction to Christian Thought, but I am not sure. I think she started talking to me first. She introduced herself with a smile and we became friends very quickly.

The thing I think of when I think of Danette is her smile. Most of my memories of Danette contain her smile. Her smile is not a false happiness smile, because you are supposed to smile. It is a smile that comes up from her spirit and radiates true joy. This joy comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ. Ever since I have known her that smile has been there. She was one of many that helped me when my mom died, not because she gave any great word of wisdom, but because she was a simple presence that asked me how I was doing and meant it. Again, she genuinely cares for people and that is what showed through. Even now, as she is on her deathbed, she is still caring for other people. Victor, her husband, told us that she called in a father and son that had not spoken to each other for a while and helped them to find reconcilation. She said the other day, that God is not through with her yet.

She is not sitting in her bed, feeling sorry for herself. Danette is not that kind of person. Instead, she is still serving God. She has spent her life serving God and even in dieing she is serving God. I am inspired. Before I found out that she was dieing, I was kind of down and depressed. I felt like certain things in my life were not going well. Nothing big or huge, but enough to be depressed. I felt like going to bed and not getting out of it. Then I found out about Danette and heard the stories. Although, I am sad still, I now know tha God is still using me. Once again Romans 8:28 is brought alive to me. "All things work good for those who are called by God according to his purposes." This does not say that all things are good, merely that God works things for good even when they are bad things.

I am inspired. I hope that I would be the same in Danette's place, but I do not know. Her faith has always been inspiring, now it has gone beyond. She has a great peace, despite her horrible circumstances. I pray that I can have that peace and that faith the rest of my life.

Thank you God for blessing my life with such a good friend as Danette. Thank you for allowing her to be a part of my life. Help me to enjoy the rest of the time I have with her, no matter how little or how long it will be. Keep her strong, keep us being left behind strong. May your peace be with us all.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

What is wrong with being a "loner"

Why is that anytime someone does an unspeakable crime the media charactarizes them as a loner? I was watching the news the other day and they talked about the man who shot all the people at Virginia Tech. They said he was a loner, obsessed with the columbine shooting and just plain strange. The school should have picked up on these things is what the news program I was watching implied. Then there was a man who had molested several children, he was a loner and very strange. None of his neighbors really new him. Other killers and extreme law breakers were also charactarized as loners, strange or even monsters.

Perhaps I simply understand the term "loner" differently. First of all, I think a loner is someone who is comfortable with him or herself by themselves. They do not mind doing things alone and often enjoy being alone. A true loner refills him or herself by being by themselves. A loner will often go to parties and be around people, but will find themselves exhausted afterwards. People wear out a true loner. Most loners have little room for small talk and do not need to fill the silences in a conversation with noise. Loners often enjoy silence and quiet and do not find it difficult to be silent. Loners sometimes want to be by themselves, but are not anti-social. They have a few close friends and are very happy with just a few friends. They may on occasion avoid social activities and not like crowds a whole lot. They can endure crowds, but it wears them out quickly. Others sometimes see the loner as withdrawn, unfreindly, aloof and even arrogant at first. However, once they get to know the person, they realize that he or she is not that way.

It seems to me that these people who commit such horrendouse crimes are not true loners, but people who have tried to fit in and lack the skills or abilities to truly be a part of a community. Therefore, they feel shunned and wish to strike out in some way or another. They are sick, yes, but not true loners.

I also find it interesting that we must characterize these people as monsters, as well. It is like we must remove them from the human race in order to attempt to understand what they have done. If I understand the Bible correctly every human being is a child of God. Therefore, we are brothers and sisters to these "maniacs" that do these crimes. Hence, but for the grace of God we also could do these horrible deeds. In other words, inside of each human being is the capacity for great evil. We all have the ability to be a Hitler or Virginia Tech shooter or whatever. However, we also have a great capacity for good. The Bible tells us that humanity was created in the image of God. Therefore, we were created good. That capacity for good never leaves us, it just becomes damaged when we sin. Being created good, though, because of sin, we have a propensity toward sin. Hence, we will all sin. Some sins seem bigger than others, but the result of sin is the same, death. Of course, our sins are taken away by the death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ.

All this is to say, though, I think we as Christians should be very careful in how we judge these so called "monsters." We, as human beings have the capacity for equal evil within us, just as these monsters have the capacity for good. Jung called the realization of such evil inside of us as "embracing the shadow." In order to truly embrace the good within us, we also have to embrace the shadow and realize our capacity for evil. In other words, don't remove these people who commit such atrocities from the human race, but remember that the same capacity is inside of you. To truly be human, though, is to live in the image of God we were created in. We are children of God, let us embrace our heritage.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thoughtfullness

I have been reading a book titled, Raging with Compassion: Postmodern Responses to the Problem of Evil, which I highly recommend. I have major problems with most books on pastoral care or the theodicy question. My problem is that most of them are intellectual defenses of God or pure theory with no practical appilcation. I have very little patience with theology that is not practical or applicable to a persons life. I guesse one would have to say I am a practical theologian.

Anyway, the point here is that most books that address the theodicy question do so in a highly intellectual way. In psychology this is a defense mechanism called intellectuallism. Meaning that if we keep an event in the intellectual realm, then we do not have to really examine our feelings about the event. Therefore, we really never fully integrate the event into our life and are defended against the event. In Raging with Compassion, this is Swinton's critique of most theodicies. I think he is absolutely correct. Most ventures into the theodicy are simply psychological defenses against having to actually respond to the evil in the world around us. If we intellectualize, blame the victim (say it is because of his or her or thier sin) or call God evil, then we protect ourselves. We find comfort in our reasoning and assure ourselves it could not happen to us. However, Swinton, goes on to say that the real question is not why thier is evil in the world, but how are we as Christians going to respond to the evil.

Swinton defines evil as anything that interferes with our relationship with God. Therefore, when an evil event occurs, how do we as Christians bring the presence of Christ into this event. One of the ways that this is done, is through what Swinton calls thoughtfullness. He talks about how most people do not think about their actions. He uses the example Otto Adalf Eichman, who was a prominant member of the Nazi governmnet of Germany during WWII. Eichman was responsible for organizing the roundups and transportation of Jews to the death camps. He was put on trial at Nuremberg. He had two psychological evaluations the first came down that he was a monster and enjoyed killing people and all that. The second though, was quite interesting. This woman was actually impressed by his normality and said that he was a short sighted buraecrat whose life seemed marked by an inability to see the long term results of his actions. In other words, he simply did or could not think about the consequences of what he was doing at the time. He was thoughtless.

We in the United States of America, live in a thoughtless culture. We want things now so we put them on a credit card, never thinking about what 15% interest is going to do to us in the future. We shop for cars not on what the whole price is going to be, but what our payment is going to be. Usually not even think ing about that balloon payment on the end, that will be more than the car is worth. We also have people who can step on others to get to the top, not thinking about the long term. We have drug use for the high at the moment, never considering the long term physical consequences, or the emotional consequences for other around us.

It seems to me one thing we as Christian can add to our culture is what Swinton calls thoughtfullness. The ability to think about our actions, both in the short term and the long term, and reflect on the possible consequences of both our actions and inactions.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Stardust-the movie-- spoiler

I just saw one of the best movies I have ever seen. It was called Stardust and is based on the book by Neil Gaimon. I have not read many of Neil Gaimon's multitude of books. I have read most of his book that he wrote with Terry Pratchett about the apocolypse. It is a funny and good book and I want to finish it someday. In fact I would reccomend it to anyone who likes Hitchhikers Guide or Monty Python, it is a funny book. However, my family and I went to see this movie, because I wanted to see it and it was on at the time we wanted to go to a movie. It was an outstanding movie that the whole family loved.

I would compare the movie to the Princess Bride, it is a fantasy complete with pirates and three witches. The basic story is that Tristan, who is a prince from the world across the wall, but does not know this, is desires the affection of a woman named Victoria. She, though, is more interested in marrying someone who has money and a power. Tristan and Victoria see a falling star and Tristan declares that he would get that star for her, if it would earn her love. She tells him to go for it, but he only has one week. The star fell on the other side of the wall, so he goes back and tells his father that he was going to go to other side of the wall and get the star. His father reveals to him that he is a child from that side of the wall and that his mother was a slave to a witch. In the basket which Tristan had been delivered to his father there had been a note and a candle. The candle was magical and would deliver you to wherever you were thinking about when it burned. Tristan burned it to find his mother, but he inadvertently thought about the star and went to the place the star had landed. The star was a woman instead of a rock as he thought it would be. The star agrees to go with him to Victoria and off they go. In the mean time three witches saw the star fall and one sets out to find the star so they could eat her heart and live forever. The witch that goes out is played by Michelle Pfiefer and she does a great job.
On the way they are also pursued by several princes who are competing to become the king. Each of these princes die one by one and the ghosts are hilarious. On the way Tristan and the star encounter an in the closet gay pirate, played by Robert DeNiro, which is absolutely hilarious. Tristan falls in love with the star and becomes king and they live forever happily ever after.

It is a must see movie, even if my description does not sound very interesting. Between Robert DeNiro as a cross dressing gay pirate and the ghosts, I have not laughed so hard at a movie since The Princess Bride. Also, the movie actually ended. Oh they could make a sequel in the same world, but it would need new characters and such, because it showed what happens in the end. This is almost a novel concept in todays movies.

Anyway, the story is an old fashioned fairytale, with great special effects. The vilians are evil and the good are good. The hero goes from zero to being king and realizes what true love is on the way. I laughed and my son and daughter got scared during parts of the movie. Just scared enough to hold my hand not quite watching. It was just a great movie.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Alaska Trip and loners

Well, I didn't get to post anything while we were in Alaska. I didn't know that my brother in law did not have a computer. Oh well, it was a great trip. We were able to go on a whale watching cruise, go fishing, see the Anchorage Zoo, the Native Heritage Center a water fall, I forgot the name of and go to Hatcher's Pass. It was a wonderfull trip, probably one of the best vacations I have ever had.

It is always interesting to go on a trip and stay with other people. It always makes me more thankful for what I have. I love visiting other places and seing the sights. I find it even more interesting to get to know some of the local people and expereince thier culture. For example, it seems to me that most, not all by any means, but a good portion of Alaskans like to live on the edge of society and culture. I'm not talking about Antisocial people or psychotic killers that get a cabin in the woods in order to make bombs, I'm just talking about people who need little contact with other people, who are comfortable with who they are and enjoy being individuals. People that the true pioneer spirit still lives in.

Some people would call them loners. I hesitate to use this term, because it is mostly used to describe people who have just opened fire on others and then shot themselves. A true loner, though, is not a killer, but a person who simply renews his or herself by being by themselves. They are usually someone who is very comfortable with who they are and have limited energy for social interaction. When I say limited energy, I do not mean no energy. Just probably less than what most people have.

I found myself really enjoying being around people like that. Perhaps I have found a place that harbors kindred spirits. Now do not get me wrong, I am not going to drop everything and move to Alaska right away. I love where I live. However, in recognizing these kindred spirits in Alaska, I was also able to recognize why I love where I live so much. I am a loner. This is not a negative, it is simply who I am. Being a loner I still like to be around people. I can still connect to people. In fact, I have connected more to people, since recognizing myself as a loner than I did before. Despite what the world says about us loners, we are wonderful people. In my small community I see that there are other loners and they understand. We do not have to talk about it, but there is an implicit understanding of being loners and joining together, for lack of a better term. In enjoy the company of others, but loners make the deep connections that I prefer. Loners understand that time alone is not time wasted. You can have fun and be alone.

This community seems to allow time alone and also provide some social interaction. I always enjoy our card games, they are once a month. However, once a month is enough. I also enjoy paintball, which does require interaction with others, but also some individual time of hiding in the woods waiting and watching and listening.

Anyway, the bottom line is, I am extremely glad to be home. I missed my house, my bed and my community. It is nice to live in a place that I can feel like it is home. Thank God for vacations, because they make me thank God for home.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

First Blog

I have never blogged before. However, I enjoy writing and on occassion have thoughts that I would like to share with other people. Therefore, I am now officially a blogger. If you are checking this out because you were surfing the web and happened to find this sight, or if I have invited you to look at my blog, the I want to tell you what to expect here.



You can expect some political commentary. On occasion I may even rant and rave about politics. I am particularly disgusted by American politics at the moment and so these rants and raves may reflect that. I am also a firm believer in media bias and on occasion feel like throwing things at the telivision because of this bias. I believe there is not such thing as fair and balanced reporting anymore, so the media should simply own up to thier biases, whether conservative or liberal and then move on. I believe this bias is shown in many small ways as well as large ways.



I try to keep up with current events, although I will sometimes go several weeks without listening to the news. I prefer to watch the news to most other television shows, although I love CSI and CSI New York. I am not overly fond of CSI: Miami, simply because I do not really like that main actor on it. CSI: New York is my favorite. I may occasionally comment on a television show that I have seen, but not much, there are much more important things to discuss.



I will also comment on theology. My relationship with God is very important to me, I am a Christian and I think writing down some of my thoughts and beliefs and sharing and receiving feed back is fun. If you do not want to hear these, this is not the Blog for you. My particular interests write now is practical pastoral theology. I have little time for useless theory and intellectualism. Quite frankly, I think much of pastoral theology is an exercise in the psychological defense mechanism of intellectualism. If we can intellectualize it away, then we do not have to actually deal with the issues. You will read more on this in the future.

I also like video games and may occassionally speak of these.

I also write and have several ideas for novels going around in my head. I may write some of these out and put them on my blog. I also enjoy reading science fiction and fantasy and may write about some of the books I read.

What you will not find on this blog is deep personal stories or feelings. Neither will you find sexually explicit material, so for all of you voyuers out there, this blog is not for you. You will find personal opinions and rambling. If you are interested in that then stay tuned and you will enjoy this blog.

Also, I am taking a trip to Alaska tomorrow and I may or may not write some things about that.